May 6, 2001

Phew.... I FINALLY finished revamping the site, and I'm GLAD. Revamping has never taken this long before... I usually finish all my redesigning/revamping in a single day, and this one took me three >< My eyes are sore @_@;;;; I realize I need to get banners for all the sites in my links page, but I'm just too tired to do that T___T I have also been insanely productive too as of late, probably due to the fact that I'm sitting on the back row in class so I have the whole morning and afternoon in school for drawing :P That leaves me with lots of line arts waiting to be CGed when I get back home... doi TT;; I'm currently reading Anne Rice's Ramses the Damned (also known as The Mummy)~~ It's very niiiiiice XD~ I get ideas flashing through my mind for drawings of various scenes >D Oh, and as if you couldn't guess, I fell in love with Ramses ever since the very first time he was mentioned XD~~ I guess I have a thing for Egyptian kings ^__~

07:12 PM

May 7, 2001

No school today, and nothing much to do either... strange, since the last couple of days led me to wish that there had been more than twenty-four hours a day, because I had so many things to do and so little time O_o; Now that the big revamp's over, and I've finished doing most of the things I had to do (homework, novels, homework, games, homework), I kinda have the whole day to do anything I like... probably finishing a drawing of a original bishy character, or start CGing the Harlem Beat line art I've done... or go to see Teacher's Pet playing at the cinemas, and play some DDR in the arcade afterwards. Or just sleep the whole day, but that's gonna give me cramps, sleeping too much XP

03:56 PM

Oh, and I might add that I've finished reading The Mummy. I... don't know what to say. I originally thought that Elliott wouldn't be drinking the elixir in the end, since it was considered a curse, but... perhaps the sight of Henry, alive and raging one day, a mummy the next day made him decide he didn't want to go anywhere near death XP BTW, for some reason, I'm always reminded of Rufus Shinra when I remember Henry O_o;;;;

11:53 PM

May 8, 2001

I have long ago learned to keep my most inner feelings and thoughts and instincts to myself, and barricaded them with a wall never to be brought down. So far, I always had managed to keep these inner stuff hidden inside of me, but today I was so badly irritated of something that I was so close to losing control of that hidden part of me; I almost unleashed it and let my inner personality surface. And now I am SCARED. I guess everyone does have things they keep inside, perhaps subconsciously even. But I have so many that is hidden, and they are so *real*. I can unleash these inner things, feelings and behavior and all, merely by bringing it up to the surface. It will be my split personality, if I ever get them out, or lose control over them. But trying to maintain my sanity, I don't. I know how and what I really am deep inside, but no, those things are far too dangerous to be released. I have complete control over this other self in me, or so I thought. Nobody has ever seen a glimpse of it, not even my parents; and nobody has any idea as of how I *actually* am, the me hidden and buried. However, today... for some reason, I actually got very mad that I really was about to drop all kinds of outer skin of my character. This freaked me out... will one day I actually lose it and let my inner self take over? I suppose people do have this kind of problem too... not letting the darker sides of themselves show... but... I don't know... I'm lost. I guess I'm begining to feel fear of the thing I have been trying to bury.

07:54 PM

May 9, 2001

Holy crap. Somebody sent me an e-mail about how people in Taiwan sell human fetuses (?) for food. Complete with visual evidence. I swear people could ASK before sending e-mails with attachments, much less potentially offensive ones. ...and as if that wasn't enough, the next e-mail was from the same person, and it had an article (complete with images attachments, of course :P) about a mutated, freaky goat that had a creepy human head and face. For heaven's sake. Also, yesterday this guy who had like a really deep crush on me IRL sent me about 10 e-mails with big attachments (like 400 KB each O_o;), and literally destroyed my mail server. I spent almost an hour waiting for those mails to be downloaded (I had to, otherwise I wouldn't be able to retrieve other mails or send any), just to find that the attachments were bloody Soul Calibur and FF VIII wallpapers that I had long ago downloaded myself. Talk about annoying XP

03:26 AM

I'm skipping school today. Sick. Stomach feels like crap. Grrrh. And my head somehow feels so light I don't FEEL it anymore @_@;;; Maybe I should sleep... but I've already slept for like five hours this _morning_, and had about four hours' sleep last night (that was a lot~! For me, anyway :P), and too much sleep never do me good. Heck, I'll just play some games, I guess... *wanders off to find lunch*

04:18 PM

May 11, 2001

For the love of... there were earthquakes happening here in my city~!! I mean, heck, there has never been any earthquake occuring around here, much less a bloody series of it. I felt the first few rumbles, but I guess I was too shocked to understand what they actually meant. I just sat there, stunned, unable to comprehend what was happening, and then the next series of rumbles rumbled and rocked and I was, like, oh my God, this is an EARTHQUAKE! A freaking earthquake in my freaking city which for several freaking tens of years has never felt any! After it was over, I began chuckling and laughing like an idiot, realizing that it was my very first experience with earthquakes. I wonder how the Japanese feel every time the ground below them shake (with much greater force)... I felt like I lost control of my body, as it shook along with the ground. Bleh. 'Twas lucky nothing dropped onto my head.

Oh well. I'm having a big problem here. I'm supposed to choose between University of Melbourne and RMIT, the later having given me a full offer which I can accept right now by paying AUS $ 8,000, and of the other a conditional offer I was given, which can only be fulfilled after I get my final results which will be in June. I can accept the RMIT offer right now, or I can wait and get into University of Melbourne, which I prefer, but is risky, because if my final results aren't sufficient to get me into U. of Melb., RMIT might already be full by then (the offer secures place only halfway, it seems...), thus leaving me with no school. And now I don't know what to do. Why is life sometimes so difficult? >_<

03:36 AM

May 15, 2001

Oh, good. Blogger is finally working again. Yesterday for the first time in my life, I actually felt like I HAD to post a blog, and crappy Blogger decided to die on me just then. I guess it's just one of the wonders of life XP~ I really should've used Greymatter... O_o;;;

Anyway. This is so gonna be a long entry XD~ My family was planning to get a new puppy because our last dog, a mini pinscher, died of disease, and we hadn't found another to take its place (yes, we love dogs -- I honestly think dogs are one of the most lovely and loyal creatures. They're very smart, too). We figured it was about time, so yesterday we dropped by this kennel. For some reason, there were only pomeranians in the kennel, and when they heard us arriving, they started yapping and barking like mad. Pomeranians are some of the most energetic, if not hyperactive, dogs out there. The moment I entered the kennel, I was attracted to a puppy (whom I found out later was five months old) named Dilon. He was well-bred, and his parents were of pure blood too. But it wasn't his line of ancestry that interested me... I felt like I had to had him. I didn't think I believed in soul mates, much less with something that wasn't even human, but now I do. Dilon, he was so small, so powerless in the cage, yet when I put out my hand all he did was lick my fingers, instead of nibbing them like what five-month-olds usually do. He had milk, while others, who were all older than he was, had food and water. I so wanted to buy him, but my parents reminded me that if we bought a pomeranian, it might end up having fleas and all, because its fur would just be a nice home for the fleas in our garden, in which we usually put our dog (and most other pets, too... including hamsters O_o;; Well, we never did like big dogs, so usually they get along well, hamsters and the dog). We had a pomeranian before, a very dear one to me, named Candy von John, but it was only by a miracle that he did not get a single flea. Nobody knew how. So anyway, finally we decided not to buy Dilon yet. At least, my parents did. Me, somehow I felt guilty towards Dilon~ Maybe it was because I treated and cuddled him and gave him hope when I finally didn't take him home with me. I would really had loved to, but... I'm sorry, Dilon ;__;

On another matter, I finished replaying Suikoden I, and am soon gonna replay Suikoden II (I'm having my freaking exams, durnit O_o;). Kouryuu's recent obsession of Suikoden has really gotten into me, it seems *_*;;; Suikoden I and II are two of the (very) few games that I actually replayed (other than CT, Zelda, and VS). Man do I love them. Now for some pointless Suikoden babble XD (BTW, it's amazing how many things you can goog at when you replay a game. Things you didn't use to understand, or didn't use to know, are made clear when you replay a game ^^)

SPOILERS WARNING~!

Sheena. Yesh, I love Sheena. His magic is wonderful, and he has great speed. He's awfully cute, too T_T~ Did I mention that his portrait in Suikoden II was simply irresistible? I love beautiful flirts XD~

Camus is my hero~! (Miklotov too, but I never used him, since his magic is rather weak and I've got Viktor and Flik in my front row) He has excellent magic (not to mention the Rage Rune, early in the game), great speed, above average ATK (being a knight, I presume), and very cute sprite >D~ I love that purple cloak of his... His sword is "Uriah"~ I read somewhere that it was the name of some former Muse chief, or something. Whatever is the relationship between Camus and some ancient city chief? O_o;;;

Flik. Oh yeah. He is _the_ man. He's changed a lot, though... in Suikoden I, he's very... immature. Childish, and emotional. But in Suikoden II, he's so cool and reserved and all. I wonder if it has anything to do with the last bit of action in Suikoden I? About his becoming a better man for Odessa? Either way, dude. Flik is the most perfect character (aside from the hero of course). Excellent speed, ATK, magic, defense, and high HP. I never leave him out of my party ^^

Viktor is so funny XD~~ "..the lion on our flag..." "That thing is a lion?" XD It honestly looks like a bear to me, dear Viktor...

Mwehehehehe... Yam Koo actually looks cool in Suikoden I... funky hair >D Bah... the only reason I'm not carrying those fishermen around (they're strong, I'm telling you) is because of their lack of magic power. Ugh.

I love Clive TTTTTTTTT Buuuut... I never had the chance to use him... in Suikoden I, my party always consists of Flik, Viktor, Grenseal (yesh... he is substituted with Camus in Suikoden II. Really, Miklotov and Alen are alike in terms of stats, too), McDohl, Rubi, and Cleo. In Suikoden II, it's always Viktor, Flik, Camus, the hero, Kahn, and McDohl (before I have him, it's usually Stallion). Soooo... no place for you, handsome Clive, sorry ;_; Maybe I should kick Kahn or Rubi out... but I need their magic T_T

Coolest looking? Yuber, no doubt. When do we get to know who he actually is, anyway? Damn you, Konami. Pesmerga is... I don't know, I just don't like his expression, I guess XP He's VERY powerful... too bad his magic power is low so I dumped him outta my party ^^; Same goes to Mazus. I don't use him much mainly because of his poor ATK.

Erg, I dislike Gremio. He's weak, has a freaking slow speed (did I mention slow? I mean SLOW), low defense, low magic, too O_o;; Why the heck did I go through all the trouble to REVIVE him? >< Nanami is a lot better, IMO, although characteristically she's far more annoying (Gremio is so sweeeeeeet TT). Ah well...

Rubi is a freaking SHE. I almost had a heart attack when I took a bath and saw that there was a green headed elf in the female side (I...don't take girls into my party, since they are weaker than the guys). Goodness... now that I think of it, there are so many ambiguous (or even genderless) characters in the Suikoden series XP~ Eh, BTW, I really like the elves (with the exception of Sylvina >:|)~ They're so cool-looking~! Kirkis and Stallion especially XD

Shu. Handsome, clever, smart, ruthless, arrogant Shu. I love the part when he goes to face Leon on his own... prepared even to sacrifice his own life. Are strategists all that ruthless? Mathiu said many times that he was willing to do anything to win the war... "You may hate me if you want"~~ I love you, Shu ;_;
Klaus is very cute and sweet, too~~ I wonder where he got his sweetness from... his mother, most likely O_o;

Alen and Grenseal. The Suikoden I version of Camus and Miklotov, except that they do not have that big of a role, and they do not imply such a close relationship ^^; *wuggles Grenseal and Camus* I love my magician knights XD~~! A big minus is that neither of them has high HP... or defense. And since they're short-ranged, they've got to be placed on the front row, and that's a big problem since they can't stand much damage... Y_Y

Seed and Culgan... why the heck do they have to die? >< The last bit of conversation that they had was so sweeeeeet ;_; I love the moment when they pledge loyalty to Jowy. Evil Konami XP

I somehow have a fondness of Sid. Spooky XD I also like Zamza, for some reason. Maybe it's his holier-than-thou attitude... or maybe it's just because of his costume. Makes me picture a Bedouin with his lion... mwehehehehe.

Luc is... a great load on Leknaat's shoulders, I suppose. Leknaat seems to be looking for every opportunity to give a warring army "gift" that is Luc :P Mweh... he looks very cute in Suikoden II though XD

...and that about rounds up today's dose of insanity (read: blog). I suppose I still have lots more to babble about, but that can come later, as I'm having my final history exam tomorrow, and I haven't read a single page XP~ Wish me luck X_x

01:23 AM

...in the end, I didn't study history at all for today's exam (except maybe history of Valendia and the Toran Republic, hehehe XD). But somehow it turned out that I was able to pull it through rather well... despite the fact that I didn't even touched the freaking history book. Okay, well, I did, I took it out of my schoolbag and had it laid open in front of me while I played Suikoden and Vagrant Story XP~ Seriously though, I have no idea how I was able to do the exam~~ and got a pretty good mark too at that >D~ Maybe looking (and drooling) at beautiful fictional males does raise your intelligence.

06:27 PM

May 16, 2001

I hate it when I spend so much time on a pic and end up not liking it *_* Today's lesson: Never force yourself to draw when you don't feel like drawing XP I actually made the Gremio - McDohl pic look like total crap... and to think that I spent almost five hours on it ><

Goodness, I'm six days short from being a legal adult~! I can't believe how near my birthday is~~ If it wasn't because of Andrea's birthday (which is today), I wouldn't even have remembered that I'm about to have a birthday C_c;;;; Heh... after all these years, I guess a birthday doesn't matter much to me anymore... you know, when you're seventeen years old, another year isn't that much; unlike when you were one, then another year would have made you two, which was already two times your lifespan of a year. Mweee~~ I should draw something for my birthday, I guess XD~ (eeek... no, don't force yourself :P)

01:25 AM

May 17, 2001

Heck, I'm tired TT; Yesterday was such a workout day... I played badminton with a couple of friends for almost three straight hours (I don't understand how I could do that and didn't faint from exhaustion XP), had some nice ice juices afterwards, and then go DDR 3rd mix-ing for another two or three hours. Mwahahaha, I got an S for Dam Dariram SSR~! =^.^= Bwah... I'm stuck to "exorbitant" (8 marks) tracks though... I still can't do "catastrophic" (9 marks) ones >< I've gotten at least an A for all "exorbitant" tracks, but not even a D for "catastrophic" tracks... TT

07:10 PM

May 18, 2001

It's 1:58 AM, and I really, REALLY am supposed to get some sleep, since I haven't gotten nearly enough in the past couple of days... but I really don't feel like sleeping. These are my last couple of days in my home, my city, my country. I don't think I even have another month to spend living right here among all the friends I've come to grow so fond of, among the family I've been raised in. I'm eager to experience a whole new way and place of living, but I sure am gonna miss my home and family and friends TT I feel like I have to use every single minute remaining while I'm still here, though it's pointless since I'm the only one who stays awake past midnight around here XP

Have I ever mentioned that Futch is so sweet? XD~ "I want to believe that Black saved me..." He looked so darn cute too in this Genso Suikogaiden 2 pic I saw >D Eh.. I've been wondering, why is it in Suikoden "black" is opposed to "bright", not "white"? Black Sword <--> Bright Shield, and Futch's dragon: Black <--> Bright. Mweh... Bright. What a name for a dragon :P Me, if I ever had a dragon, I'd rather name it "Draco" or, heck, even "Fou-Lu". Not "Bright" ><;;;;;;;

05:34 AM

May 22, 2001

Woooooo~~~~~~~ I'm so very bouncy-happy XD~ This is probably one of the best birthdays I've ever had, especially because it's gonna be the last one I have at home among my family and friends TTTT Anyway... I invited some thirty of my closer friends for a dinner and we had lots of fun (despite the fact that I felt bad, having had to leave out some other twenty close friends ><;;; My mom said I should not invite too many people since last year I had a really grand dinner with lots of people for my sweet seventeen party XP~). It's so really gonna be one memorable birthday XD~~

One of the most charming presents I got were two bunnies (yes, bunnies... they brought them into the restaurant in a box O_o;;;), one male and one female. I christened them Sheena and Sydney (Sheena be the female XD). They are very, I mean VERY, cute. Sheena is white with greyish black spots all over her body and face, while Sydney has black fur on his ears and back and legs, and white on all other parts of his body. Very awfully huggable ^.^~ Strange... only this morning I mentioned in #artcorner that I wanted bunnies, and I actually got them as birthday presents XD~

I also got a very cute gift art... mwehehehehe... you ought to wonder what's going on between me and Vagrant Story's abominable Damascus Crab >D~ It's sorta an in-joke, but the idea of the Damascus Crab dancing is just... hilarious XD~

03:57 AM

May 25, 2001

Haven't blogged or updated for far too long >< I'm about to have my finals, which are... dreaded. There are no other words for those bloody exams, honest. Anyway... Sydney (the bunny I got for birthday, read below) died TT He was most likely too small and weak to live on his own, and I'm sure the petshop owner didn't give him good food. Poor little cutie >< At least Sheena (the female one) stays alive and healthy till now ^^~

Grrrh... I seem to be having an artist's block. I can't seem to draw anything right, and worst of all, I can't seem to finish all the drawings I've started doing TTTT I've got LOADS of B&W art in my HD (lemme count... twelve XP), and another bunch of halfway-colored drawings too at that >< I've never had such a long queue of artwork waiting to be colored before...

Okay, so there's the matter of drawing issues, the... finals, and the freaking fact that I've only got like two weeks remaining for me to stay among my friends and family in this sweet little city (speaking of which, there was another earthquake earlier today... now THAT is weird O_o; I've been living here since I was born 18 years ago and I'd never experienced any... till that last week one O_o; And now this one... strange. Is the plate of continent moving or something?). I can't... bear the thought that I'd actually move away from all the things I've known since my childhood ><;;;;

06:40 PM